"THE TERRIFIC TWO'S"

I know you are wondering how things have been since Jayden has been home. The plane flight home was of course long and tiring. We had several complications with our tickets resulting in my needing to re-book our flights at every stop. In Hong Kong, we exited the plane and was greeted by a man holding a big sign with my name in bold letters. I identified myself and he simply said, "follow me." I must tell you that was not a good feeling.
We followed him to the Cathay Pacific ticket counter and he started typing. Apparently they had Jayden listed as an infant and not a toddler which would mean he would have no seat on the long flight over the ocean. The mistake was corrected and soon we were seated and the long part of the journey home began. (We almost missed the plane after this delay and the long walk to the terminal. We also had forgotten there was a one hour time difference between Hong kong and Honoi. We arrived at the terminal to the sounds of "last call.")

We were in the middle section in a four seat row. The seat next to me was empty so I moved over and Jayden had two seats between us. What a blessing!!! He stretched out and with the exception of maybe an hour, he slept the thirteen hour trip to LA. I think Angie and I did as well.

We landed in LA and soon Angie and I both were commenting on a very noticable change in the behavior of the workers and employees of the airport, eating establishments, ticket agents etc.
In Vietnam, customer service is the name of the game. We have commented several times on this blog about the way we were treated. People just could not do enough to help you. Not so in LA!!!

I discoverd this first hand when I committed apparently what was the unpardonable sin by forgetting to take my lap top out of my back pack when I put it through the scanner.
The "gentleman" who informed me of this treated me like a criminal and spoke down at me in a very demeaning way. It was incredible. Our next encounter with customer service at the LA airport was with a lady who drove one of the golf cart vehicles. Angie's foot was giving her unbearable pain with all the walking in the airport. I haled the lady down and asked her for a ride. I explained my wife's situation and her only comment was, "You'll have to pay." Before I could even ask her how much, she had driven off.

But now enough about us. "What about Jayden?" I thought you would never ask. Not once, I repeat, not once from Honoi to Hong Kong, to LA, to Dallas, to Charlotte; not once did he cry or show any signs of being disgruntled or tired or upset. Wait, I stand corrected. He did cry once in the airport in Honoi as we were checking our bags. I handed him to Angie so I could gather the luggage and he cried. She gave him back to me and he hushed.

I don't know if we have said much about this but one of the things we noticed while over in Vietnam was that he preferred me to carry him or if I left the hotel room without him, he would sometimes cry. It was obvious to both Angie and me that he did not want his daddy out of his sight. I believe I know the reason.

Thouc was his father figure while at the baby home. Thouc would come every 3-4 weeks or so for a visit. He would spend a lot of time with Jayden and the other children and then when it was time to leave, he would hand him back over to one of the nurses. I am sure jayden cried whenever Thouc left. I believe that when I would hand Jayden to Angie, he thought that I was leaving.

This became even more evident to us when we touched down in Charlotte. We were home. Now Jayden understands what we say to him. He doesn't yet talk, but he knows what we say. We told him we were home. When we arrived in baggage claim, his three sisters and grandfather were there to meet him. He has been studying his family for months in pictures that we had sent to the baby home. Even while we were there, we would show him daily again the pictures of his home and family in the U.S. When he saw his family in the airport it was like magic. I handed him to Angie, and guess what? No more tears!!! Not only did he not cry , but now he preferred Angie to hold him over me. You see, when he met his sisters and grandfather face to face, and finally saw all of us together, in his little mind he knew he was home. That meant that Daddy was not going anywhere. We were a family and families stay together!

We arrived at home to a large "Welcome Home Jayden Banner" and lots of new experiences and wonders awaiting.

We have now been home five days. Jayden is incredible. Everyday he is becoming more and more familiar with and adjusted to his new life. his appetite is amazing. He is eating just about everything we put on his plate. He loves bananas, eggs, grits, (good ol southern boy), green beans, apple sauce, hot dogs. and corn bread. He takes approximately 24 ounces of formula per day, a far cry from the 4 or so he was getting at the baby home. We're going to have to put him on a diet!!!

He was introduced to many of the people in his church at a welcome home party on his behalf and aside from having that "who are all this people" look on his face he was an angel.

He has an infectious smile and is so happy. He sleeps 10-12 hours at night, takes a nap in the afternoon and continues to shine more and more. We are still waiting on the "terrible two's"
to kick in. Maybe that's only true with kids born in America. I don't know. But for one little boy,
abandoned at birth, raised in an orphanage, and now living 12 thousand miles from anything and everybody he has ever known, he is going through the "TERRIFIC two's!!!"

We are blessed. Our prayers have been answered. Jayden is home. We are on an incredible journey. Jayden's Journey will continue. We each have our own journey. We come from different beginnings, backgrounds, families, cultures, etc. Each journey is special! It is ours! If we are fortunate we will have loving, caring people to help us find our way along our journey. We will be here for Jayden. In time we will share with him these beginnings to his journey through life.

He will not remember the baby home, Thouc, the loving nurses, his buddy Dat, or the early days in his homeland. But we will tell him and better yet because of this blog, we will be able to show him in word and pictures. One day, the Lord willing, we will return with Jayden to Vietnam for a visit. We want him to see first hand this part of his journey.

May God bless you along YOUR Journey.

Norman

CELEBRATION!!!

After a good night's sleep we had breakfast in the room and then headed to our 10:00 AM interview at the US Embassy. It is only a 15 minute drive from the hotel so we left in a taxi in plenty of time, to first go by a bank to get US dollars for the fee at the embassy. Jayden ate another yogurt cup before we left and we were so proud of him. We had only just begun our trip to the Embassy when Up came the yogurt. I mean all of it, all over Jayden, me, Angie and the taxi. OH THE JOYS OF BEING A TODDLER DAD! I had forgotten about all these wonderful moments. We gave the driver a little sign language and he turned around and headed back to the hotel. He, like all the people we have met here, was so gracious as we tried to apologize. He would not let us wash out the seat. He just accepted it as part of the job of a taxi driver.

We changed Jayden and hastily wiped down ourselves and headed out again in a different taxi but the same driver. Because of the sudden return to the hotel, we did not have time to go by the bank. I would have to hope that a debit card would suffice. I had been told yesterday that sometimes their credit card machine did not work.At the embassy we went in, paid our fee (the machine worked) and waited for our "interview". Shortly after 10:00 we were called to the window for the interview. Here is a word for word rendering of our interview. "Do you swear that all the answers to the questions in this application are true to the best of your knowledge?"
I answered, I do, and signed on the dotted line and was told to return at 4:00PM to pick up Jayden's visa.

We returned to the hotel, spent time in the room and some time at the pool. Jayden enjoyed the pool. (another first) At 3:55 I arrived at the embassy, leaving Jayden and Angie in the hotel room and in 5 minutes I had the visa and was on my way back to the hotel.

Completed, finished, done, over with, how many ways can you spell VICTORY? It was like completing a marathon, or a long 2 year project. It had been a long journey to where we are and tonight it was time to celebrate.

We went to a wonderful restaurant on the West Lake just a few minutes from our hotel. We heard about The Vine, from a book we purchased when first planning our trip. It is a fabulous, wonderful International restaurant. The walls are lined with vintage wines (over 1000 wines) It has low light, with deep color walls, and very gothic baroque decor. The food was familiar with a great variety. We sat on a couch-like seat with pillows. Jayden was like a little man, once again amazing us with his easy nature and willing spirit. And yes, he fell asleep on the cushions before we were served our meal. Angie and I enjoyed the evening, the atmosphere, the customer service, the food which was the best we have had in Vietnam and the nature of our dining out.
This was our Celebration Meal. The finale!!!

On the way back to the Sommerset Hotel, we witnessed the appreciation the people in Honoi have for the large West Lake. There were hundreds of people on the banks of the lake in the moonlight enjoying the evening. It is a lover's lane of sorts and just as we used to sit in our cars as teenagers to date, they sit on their motor-cycles.

We have enjoyed Hanoi. We wish we would have had more time here But it was good to get an appreciation for the entire country. The southern most part, with its Pho and more rural life-style, to the South Central massive city of Ho Chi Minh with it's strangle-hold of motorcyles, to the more modern and cultural city of Honoi. One of the most inviting customs or qualities we have noticed in all of Vietnam is the social atmosphere of the people. They live together. They are not sheltered like we are in our air-conditioned houses and enclosed places of business. They live in the open air. All along the way in every major city and small province they sit in groups of 5 or 6 or more living life together.

We returned to our room and put Jayden to bed. Another victory!!! Jayden took his bottle tonight for the first time since he left the baby home and devoured it. He is making daily progress toward total acceptance.

Tomorrow we will check out of here at 4PM and head for the airport. We fly toward home at 7:30PM with Jayden and all the memories of our facinating and adventurous journey. Jayden's Journey will continue as he will soon be introduced to a world unlike any he has known. We know he will do well.

Like our other three children, we will dedicate him to the Lord and raise him to feel secure, loved and special. Thank you for following us on this journey. Like all good journeys, this one promises to continue for many years to come.

pictures of our Giving and Recieving Ceremony and a trip to HCMC

pictures for a busy day getting our medicals and passport

Sorry no pictures for the blog

Hello Everyone,
I have been trying to upload pictures to the BLOG for several days now. It is just not happening. I am having luck with the FlickR account so click on the link and I will try to get the pictures uploaded there. Thank you guys for caring enough about our Family journey to ask. Angie

THE FINAL STEP

Thursday, Oct. 2

We had a 10:30 flight time to Honoi this morning. We had a final breakfast at the Milano Hotel in HCMC with Jayden. He was in his usual happy playful mood. Everyone always comments on what a good looking boy he is and how attentive he is to us. We did not anticipate how long it would take to get through the morning traffic to the airport and were really cutting it close. We arrived at the airport at 9:45. With only a few minutes to spare we did not have much time to spend with Thouc who came to give us a final send-off. We spoke a few minutes, thanked him again and promised to Email when we arrived in America. He had a few gifts he had bought for Jayden. He really is going to miss his little buddy. As Jayden walked through the door into the ariport, Thouc raised both arms high above his head and clapped. It was his way to saying to Jayden, the journey to your family has finally at last come true. You have made it.!!!You are heading home.

Getting to the gate with all our luggage and little time was hectic. We now also had Jayden.
Our luggage was overweight which we knew it would be. They only allow a total of 120 lbs checked luggage for three. I paid the extra fee (only about $18) and we hurried to the gate.
Jayden was an angel contented and happy. Angie was anxious about the flight on" such a little plane." We found our seats, buckled in and then, I waited to see how Jayden would react. He doesn't like to be constrained so I thought the seat belt would upset him. However, as he sat in his seat between his mommy and daddy, cherios and juice in hand, he sat there like a little man without the first tear or sign of discontent. He slept for most of the flight and as far as he was concerned, he never left the ground.

It was a good flight and then we went to our hotel, the Sommerset in Honoi. We quickly found our room then rented a taxi for the15 minute drive to the US Consulant to submit our paperwork for Jayden's visa. THE FINAL STEP BEGUN. January 2007-Sept. 2008 (21 months)
Jayden is almost home. Tomorrow, we go to the Embassy for a 10AM appointment and hopefully if all goes well, we will have his visa in hand by 4:00 PM. Please pray with us that it will happen.

Tonight back in the hotel suite, (a very nice place with Kitchen, washer, dryer, large tub and HOT water; we have not had hot water much on this trip), we made supper. Hot dogs, french fries, pepsi and the taste and smell of American in the room. The best part? Jayden began to eat. He ate a hot dog, yogert, french fries chips etc. He was so cute and so happy knowing that he was pleasing us by eating. He absolutely understands everything we say. He uses a form of sign language to let us know that he understands. He points to things, takes things to either one of us on request , helps clean up. He smiled, laughed and had a very normal evening, the kind that any little boy should have at home with his family. He is more and more at home. His bath was another success. He had been afraid of the bath but tonight after an initial bit of fear, he settled in with a few empty bottles as toys and played in the water, splashing and laughing.

We would love to be on a plane Saturday evening if possible. There is a Typhoon heading for Hong Kong and our travel agent wants us out of here. If not, there would be a delay waiting on the storm to pass.

tomorrow, the journey will continue.

Fast Paced Day in HCMC

Sorry for the delay. Everything has been going very well and last night we were unable to get internet.
Now for the update. Wednesday was a whirl-wind day. We got a call from Thouc at 7AM to meet him at the Embassy to submit papers for the passport. Jayden, Angie and I hailed a taxi and took the 45 minute trip at rush hour HCMC. I have never been to NY City but I cannot imagine anything that compares to this. They say there are 4,500.000 motorcycles in HCMC and I believe they were all on the road. It was stop and go, honk and go, close your eyes and go. The amazing thing about the drivers here is that no one gets upset and shows attitude. It is just the accepted norm. There are not many traffic lights, only in the busiest intersections. We finally got there and Thouc took charge. He told Angie and Jayden to go wait across the street at a restaurant while he and I went into the embassy. We never really understood why he did not want them inside, but needless to say, Angie was not about to cross the road. There were cycles, bikes, vans, cars, busses, anything and everything that had wheels coming in all directions. Thouc told me to go inside and wait and he held Anigie's hand and helped them across the road. Angie then informed him that she had no money and Jayden was thirsty so Thouc bought them a coke "to go". 'To Go" means in a plactic bag and straw. Thats right; a coke poured in a plastic bag with a straw and you hold it together at the top. And of course no ice.

Thouc and I went inside and in quick order we submitted papers, paid money to expedite passport and now it was on to the hospital for the medical report. A taxi was hailed, Thouc got on his motorcycle and said meet me there. It was about a 20 minute drive to the hospital. We arrived, met Thouc and again he took charge. It was a long walk to the visa medical center and Angie's foot was really hurting. But we arrived and saw first hand socialized medicine at work. Hundreds if not thousands were waiting in the lobbies and around the grounds to see a doctor, get medicine or something. But we had Thouc. He marched in, knew who to see, and in a short time, we were putting Jayden on the scales and checking his height. He was perfect. No tears, no complaints. I am amazed at this little boy's good nature. We are dragging him everywhere. Every experience is a new one and often a frightening one, but he faithfully does what he is asked. It is just another sign that he is adjusting to his new life.

We soon were in with the doctor. The doctor looked at me and asked, "how long have you known this child?" I said, "oh about two weeks." He then asked if I had noticed anything abnormal about him. I started to say, Yeah, he doesn't scream, and rant and rave to get his way. He doesn't stomp his feet and have temper tantrums like most 2 year olds I know. But I said, no he is a perfect little boy. Shortly after a quick exam we were done.

Thouc said for me to meet him back at the embassy and the hospital at 2 that afternoon to get the passport and medical report. We went back to the hotel and had KFC in the room . At this point, Jayden still is not eating. He eats cherrios, and snacks and apple juice and water. This also is very common with adopted children. I think it is one sign that he is grieving his loss (the baby home and the only family he has known).

At 2PM I left to meet Thouc and Angie and Jayden rested and took a walk in the park and played in the water. Then it was nap time. Nap time and bed time have been the only times he has cried.He had one of his "I don't want to go to bed" episodes. I think maybe he is afraid to go to sleep for fear that when he wakes up we will not be there. He follows us where ever we go and wants us all together. This is perfectly understandable. Angie said he cried a long time till finally one of the staff came up and started talking Vietnamese to Jayden in an attempt to calm him. The walls were not very sound proof at this hotel and I guess his crying had been reported. Anyway, she only made matters worse. The last thing Jayden wants to think is that someone else is coming to take him away again. He is afraid of other people at this point reaching out to him. He wants his mammy and daddy and that is the way we want it. This bonding time is the most important thing we have got to do now. Everyday is better. He is trusting more and more and feeling more and more at home. And he is!!!

Last night we ended the day with another outing with our friends from HCMC. They had dropped off some items for us to take to their son and his hostess family in Spartanburg.
They wanted to take us to eat at a Korean steakhouse trying to take us somewhere where they knew we had not been. Well it was closed. So after some conversation we could not understand they asked through the translator who is a family friend and associate , if PizzaInn would be OK.
Now we love pizza, but we had eaten it 3 times since arriving in HCMC this 2nd and 3rd time.
But we said that would be fine. It was a great time of laughing, sharing our different customs and trying to communicate. This time the shoe was on the other foot. It was their time to eat what they were not accustomed to. Basically they like pizza about like we like PHO!!!

All in all, a good day. With Jayden's Passport and medical in hand it was time to book the flight to Honoi and get his Visa.